Baby Blue Eyes.

I'm staring at this blank page thinking of all the proper words I could use to fill this insignificant piece of space. But my brain comes up empty again, and the thought of you makes it harder for me to breathe. Here I am, this... useless, defenseless, MESS. And you don't even know. Part of me wants you to, just to see the kind of reaction you'd give me. The other part, however, the selfish, self-absorbed part, doesn't. At all. I wish it were easy. I wish I could just obliterate you from the dustballs collecting at the darkest corners of my brain. If only life worked like that. None of us would even be able to comprehend, or worse yet, experience, the meaning of a broken heart. I'm trying, really, I'm trying so hard to get over you. I'm just not....there yet.

In conclusion I'm sick of boys, sick of love. I want a boyfriend, don't get me wrong, but I want the perfect one. The one that makes me feel like a million dollars, like you did. The Ryan Ross to my Keltie Colleen. I don't want one for the sake of getting one. Hell, no.

p/s:
tesh, you are going to be alright. what more can i say? i know your stronger than people expect you to be.