I remember the last conversation we had.
Before you even arrived, my heart had already started breaking. I tried to convince myself I was just being paranoid again. Then, you approached me with your hands tucked into the pocket of your ratty jeans, your disheveled hair blowing lightly in the October air, looking as beautiful as ever. The heartbreaking expression on your face told me everything I needed to know, yet, still, I hoped so bad that it wasn't going to happen.
Then all those words just started streaming out of your mouth, and I could do nothing but stare at you feeling completely helpless. I still remember the stoic, unreadable expression you wore on your face while you uttered that last goodbye.
I still haven’t recovered from the aftershock.
I hate you for that. I hate you for making me feel so intensely happy and… and scared and vulnerable and all those stupid emotions I wasn’t ready for. I guess they weren’t lying when they said the first cut hurts the deepest. Only, they don’t even know the half of it.
You were the best and worst thing that’s ever happened to my heart. I never thought I would ever use that sentence. So cliché, but you know it’s true. You knew me so much better than I knew myself. That’s what scares me the most. Knowing you could use all that information to break me, knowing that my secrets aren’t really mine anymore- they’re yours too, and I can’t take that back no matter how much I want to. You saw right through the façade I put up for the world to see, and I can’t take that back.
You damaged me. Damaged me beyond repair. You left me as this... an incomprehensible mess of words I'm not even sure are meaningful to you. But words are the only thing I have left.
I saw you with her that day, buying coffee at my favorite bakery. You didn't see me, since I was sitting way in the back. I couldn’t ignore the surge of pain that burst through my body when I saw you laugh that familiar, comforting laugh that echoes in my head each time I think of you. And all I could think about while I sat frozen at my spot was:
She made you happy.
That was something I could never do.
Before you even arrived, my heart had already started breaking. I tried to convince myself I was just being paranoid again. Then, you approached me with your hands tucked into the pocket of your ratty jeans, your disheveled hair blowing lightly in the October air, looking as beautiful as ever. The heartbreaking expression on your face told me everything I needed to know, yet, still, I hoped so bad that it wasn't going to happen.
Then all those words just started streaming out of your mouth, and I could do nothing but stare at you feeling completely helpless. I still remember the stoic, unreadable expression you wore on your face while you uttered that last goodbye.
I still haven’t recovered from the aftershock.
I hate you for that. I hate you for making me feel so intensely happy and… and scared and vulnerable and all those stupid emotions I wasn’t ready for. I guess they weren’t lying when they said the first cut hurts the deepest. Only, they don’t even know the half of it.
You were the best and worst thing that’s ever happened to my heart. I never thought I would ever use that sentence. So cliché, but you know it’s true. You knew me so much better than I knew myself. That’s what scares me the most. Knowing you could use all that information to break me, knowing that my secrets aren’t really mine anymore- they’re yours too, and I can’t take that back no matter how much I want to. You saw right through the façade I put up for the world to see, and I can’t take that back.
You damaged me. Damaged me beyond repair. You left me as this... an incomprehensible mess of words I'm not even sure are meaningful to you. But words are the only thing I have left.
I saw you with her that day, buying coffee at my favorite bakery. You didn't see me, since I was sitting way in the back. I couldn’t ignore the surge of pain that burst through my body when I saw you laugh that familiar, comforting laugh that echoes in my head each time I think of you. And all I could think about while I sat frozen at my spot was:
She made you happy.
That was something I could never do.
-I.
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This letter isn't meant for anyone. I was just bored and I was just reading this fanfiction that was all letters and I got inspired is all. Yeah, I'm into all these angsty stuff. You should know that by now. Comments please? (:
3 comments:
:D I LOVE ANGSTY LETTERS/THOUGHTS. SHO GOOOOOOOD.
Guess it never really went away.
haha maria. thx. dine, what never rly went away?
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