a long time ago, we used to be friends.

Okay I haven't blogged in ages. Well, I've just moved to shah alam and I haven't gotten interweb connection yet. I'm blogging using the
blackberry :)

So pmr is basically in 2 weeks and I am FREAKING OUT. I have never felt the want to have anything this badly before. Except maybe once. Or twice. But yeah. I can't wait till it's all over so I can just laze around at home without worrying abt anything. Srsly.

And I rly wanna move sch next year. I loathe kdu. I barely even go to school anymore haha. But yeah.. Guess I'll see how it is with ze mom. Raya is next weeekk :) yum good food.

Okaaay ta xx

the little things

just came baaaack from cycling around the neighbourhood. it's 8:14 am btw. and no, obviously i didn't sleep. or i'd be in bed like a dead log right now.

i just love the morning skies. like, when you're the only one in the neighbourhood and everything else is kinda still dark and silent. if you've never experienced that, try it. serious bliss. only me, my ipod and the wind. ah.

after a few mins though i saw people from the next neighbourhood cycling. white people. a dude and a chick. eheheh, yes, my neighbourhood has MANY white guys... many HOT white guys... thats prolly the only thing i'll miss about it when i move to, Shah Alam. *gulps*

okay random post byebye.

WARNING: this post contains a LOT of profanities.

have you felt so angry you just wanted to slam random stuff across the room?
like your hands were just itching to slap someone across the face, or better yet, get involved in a fistfight?
like your entire body was consumed by numbness and the only thing you feel is the cold slipping into your bones?

i have.

i'm gonna confess a few things.

apparently, i'm a fucking bitch. to the core. i talk smack about people i'm not close to, but who doesnt? but i have NEVER talked shit about my BEST friends behind their back. at least not when im in good terms with them. but still, apparently a LOT of people hate me. Fuck all of you. Okay.

and okay. i constantly tell people that i don't care if they judge me. but i do get easily intimidated by people who look me over up and down with the "shes not good enough" look. I DESPISE THAT LOOK WITH ALL MY HEART... SORRY IM NOT AS SMART AS SOME PEOPLE, BUT INTELLIGENCE ISNT EVERYTHING.

and yes, i am rather self absorbed. even i know that. i am capable of rambling about me and all my petty problems for hours. i can. and sometimes i do. BUT YOU HAVE TO ADMIT, I LISTEN TO PEOPLES PROBLEMS. (jas, tesh, tash), you guys all know. It's just that I'm a terrible advice giver, that i dont give advice.

AND YES, I'M INCAPABLE OF MANTAINING THE BALANCE OF MY FRIENDS. but i love them all equally.

and to everyone reading my blog, PLEASE, if you ever feel like you hate me/want to hate me, drop me a comment so i dont have to waste my friendship on you.... I am being dead serious.

oh and apparently I'm a popularity chaser... thats new. points on originality. really. im so obsessed that i cling on to everyone and anyone. i like a zillion boys and I'm just SO self obsessed with my hair. Aww so cute. PUH LEASE. The hair part.... okay that's true. But 2 boys in 3 years is hardly MANY. shit, so slutty right? -.- SHADDUP LAH.

since i've already sweared a whole lot already... here's to the Anonymous, in my CBOX,
FUCK YOU. you annoy the hell out of me and frankly, just DONT read my blog if you prefer to remain anonymous.

and please, do not talk shit about this blog because I HAVE NOWHERE ELSE TO RANT OK. SO I WILL WRITE HOWEVER MUCH BULL I WANT HERE EVEN IF I'LL REGRET IT LATER.

goodbye and goodnight.

two posts in a night. that's unhealthy. whatevs.
rantrantrant.

- someone's been hacking into my fb
- someone's been hacking into my email account.

and i think i know who. it's so freaking obvious. bitch's gonna get the shitload of crap she has coming to her. trust me. i can tolerate all the backstabbing and shit talking, but hacking into my accounts and talking shit to OTHER people is just a step too far. yeah, you're a best friend all right.

i am so mad right now it's not even funny. so much for a drama free form 3. pft.

hobo and keltiee. she looks purdy here.

lethargy and OJ.

hey blog long time no see. imagine your surprise when you open your blog to find a bunch of mindless f**** spamming your cbox with things you couldn't be bothered to read. (oh you know who you are).

i've been way too lazy to get off my lazy arse and actually do something productive. been skipping school a lot lately, just cos i can, and cos it's school. moving out this sunday, so you probably won't see me on this for a very long while since i highly doubt my dad would install internet in the new house with pmr only weeks away.

speaking of pmr.... i am an absolute mess about it. yes, i've started studying, but it's so near and how am i supposed to cram a zillion facts about Living Skills, Science and Agama? and do not even get me started on Math. *breathes*.

my lips are so chapped cause of fasting :( and i've been drinking way too much oj and applejuice. did i mention? i am in love with matt nathanson's album: some mad hope. it is freaking awesome. especially if you listen to it before sleeping/while studying. mmm.

i've been tired a lot too... but hey, what else is new?

book candy: let's get lost by sarra manning. (all her books are awesome k)
ear candy: I Explode- E for Explosion.

1.The last person to tag you is?
Maaaaariaaaa.

2.What relationship of you with him/her?
she wants my jackson :O

3.Your 5 impression towards him/her?
funny, hyper, pretty, evil, nicee.

4.The most memorable thing that he/she has done to you.
lol. idk. im not that close to her. but she makes me laugh :D

5.The most memorable words that he/she has say to you.
"OMG YOU GOT A PICTURE WITH JARED?" :D

6.If he/she becomes your lover, you will...
idk. love her? haha. and we'll go search for hot guys and have like 10 lovers atthesametime :P

7.If he/she becomes your enemy, you will...
slap her. lol. rub in the fact that jared is a smexy beast.

8.If he/she becomes your lover, he/she has to improve on..
not stealing my hot guys D:

9.If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason is ...
cause she stole my jackson. D:

10.The most desirable things to do for him/her is?
help her out?

11.The overall impression to he/her is..
insane. srsly.

12.How do you think the people around you will feel about you?
"wth she got mental problems ah?"

13.The character for you for yourself is?
Poor little rich girl. lol jk. idk?

14.On contrary, the character you hate of yourself is?
insecure.

15.The most ideal person you want to be is?
KELTIE COLLEEN BETCHES

... cuz she has ryan. or hanna beth cuz shes freaking gorgeous or hayley williams. hayley ish lovesssss. haha either one of those three, i wouldnt mind :D

16.For the person who cares and likes you, say something about them.
find me someone who actually CARES and likes me, then we'll talk.

17.Ten people to tag:

1) Tesha Sevani.
2) Jasmine mango

3) Tash
4) Mei Yi
5) Joyce
6) Bernardine

7) Jamiee
8) Eening

9) Delia
10) Aminah (if she still reads my blog)

18.Who is number 2 having relationship with?
Me. Duh. :D

19.Is number 3 a female or male?
Female.

20.If number 7 and 10 be together would it be a good thing?
I'll suicide. Lol. Plus, I dont think 10's boyfriend would be very happy..

21.How about number 5 and 8?
Same.

22.What is number 1 studying about?
She's studying Torres's man parts. Lol.

23.When was the last time you had a chat with them?
Who? Tesh? On MSN just now.

24. Is number 4 a single?
Yeah? If she isnt I would've heard about it.

25.Say something about number 2.
she's gorjusss.

now, picture of the day.

Ryan Ross and Hobo Ross.

Wanna hear smth freaky? Put your textmessage thingy on dictionary and type Iman.. it'll come out as Hobo... yeah. :S I WISH I WERE HOBO IN THIS PIC :D

late nights at laman seri.

just came back from my new house. it consisted of:

rainy nights. running around the nieghbourhood. mcflurrys at 12am. talking shit. strengthwork. playgrounds. rooftops. and cousins. haha total craziness i swear.

my cousins&sister are damn mean. they like talking shit bout ryanross. haha example one.

me: i wish ryan moved into the house next door (cus its empty)
sister: iman will jump down from the roof to go to his roomand ryan will try to catch her, but she died. then when he tried to catch her, she died too.
me: AWWWWWWWW SO SWEET HE'LL DIE IN MY ARMS

example two.

kaizer: OH, OR SHE'LL JUMP DOWN and then ryan just opens his hands but he couldnt catch her. then she dies and he goes.... oops.
me: -.-

and SO SO SO many more. retards. i can't wait to moveeee.

ps; to the random people in my cbox. if you dont already know me, i'm VERY blunt. i say what i think. and if my blogpost below seemed very whiny and like i was looking for pity, it totally isn't. i hate getting pitied. i hate crying in public. i hate it when people always ask me if im okay. so yeah, that totally wasnt about pity. its a public blog, and i will say what i want to. what's the point of having a blog if it's going to be on private? anyway blogspot doesnt allow private posts.

Baby Blue Eyes.

I'm staring at this blank page thinking of all the proper words I could use to fill this insignificant piece of space. But my brain comes up empty again, and the thought of you makes it harder for me to breathe. Here I am, this... useless, defenseless, MESS. And you don't even know. Part of me wants you to, just to see the kind of reaction you'd give me. The other part, however, the selfish, self-absorbed part, doesn't. At all. I wish it were easy. I wish I could just obliterate you from the dustballs collecting at the darkest corners of my brain. If only life worked like that. None of us would even be able to comprehend, or worse yet, experience, the meaning of a broken heart. I'm trying, really, I'm trying so hard to get over you. I'm just not....there yet.

In conclusion I'm sick of boys, sick of love. I want a boyfriend, don't get me wrong, but I want the perfect one. The one that makes me feel like a million dollars, like you did. The Ryan Ross to my Keltie Colleen. I don't want one for the sake of getting one. Hell, no.

p/s:
tesh, you are going to be alright. what more can i say? i know your stronger than people expect you to be.

Lovers catching taxis going downtown..

Download :
Bulletproof weeks- Matt Nathanson.
*perfect song for a rainy day, i swear.

Fasting month has started, and I'm just rollin' with it. Though everyone has been apologizing for eating in front of me. You don't have to, really, cause I've been fasting since a child of 6. I just finished breaking my fast with a whole lot of Malay food followed by a bowl of Rocky Road icecream. Mmmm, that satisfied my tummy alright! :)

We've been getting our Trial 2 results back, and mine weren't so good. Which was expected cause I didn't exactly study. But Science broke my heart cause all my mistakes were so STUPID i could have banged my head on the table when I re-read the paper. Gotta buck up on Math, and Science and KH. (I do not understand KH. At all. Especially teras and sewing. Holy hell I'm screwed.)

I'm in the midst of downloading the first episode of Gossip Girl, Season 2. I'm so excited I could pee in my pants to watch it. CHACE CRAWFORD, PLEASE :D

Also, my sleeping schedule is very, very screwed up. Been sleeping so late in the morning it isn't even funny anymore.

I'm talking to what's left of you
Watching what I say
Counting all the freckles on your perfect face
You open your window
And I stay on your bed
Just hoping that right words will come

So what happened to bullet proof weeks in your arms?
What happened to feeling cheap radio songs?
What happened to thinking the world was flat?
What happened to that?