5:40 pm.

Today I've eaten a shitload of chocolate (no kidding), drank 2 glasses of milk and finished a book-- while everybody's at school learning Physics or Bio or whatever the hell they had today. Explanation: I've got no school shoes yet and the suspension shit is freaking ridiculous-.-

I'm really pretty scared of how I'm going to cope with everything this year. I am hoping hoping hoping and praying that I'll get into a new school...and even then I'll still be scared cause what they learn over there is way harder than any pure science.

Funny how life breaks you down sometimes.

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY FREAKING GOD!!!!!!!!!!!

"First and foremost, we’ve finally added some on set pictures from S. Darko to the gallery. Secondly, we ask you guys try not to jump to conclusions when you view one of the pictures! Thanks to Christel, who worked on the movie, for these pictures! Here’s what she had to say about Jackson:

- Jackson is in the film, and his character is awesome! You’re going to love it!
- Jackson is such an amazing guy!

She also told me she’ll be seeing Jackson again this month! So anyway, the two are just sharing a quick goodbye peck after filming for S. Darko wrapped up. The two are not dating. And as for the other image, it’s Jackson with S. Darko writer Nathan Atkins and a friend! There’s also scans from an old issue of Teen in the gallery as well."

SOURCE: http://www.jackson-rathbone.com/

LUCKY BITCH OMG AHH I WOULD LIKE SO DIE TO BE HER.

*fangirl moment over.*

DILEMMA.

Pure Science or Humanities? I can't decide -.-

BECAUSE HUMANITIES HAS LITERATURE. and i want to study literature in the future.

ugh times a zillion. this makes the decision even harder.

"I wish that there was a way to make him unsad. I asked him once why he doesn't put his bad feelings into songs and he told me that it's just to awful to think about and that he just wants to focus on happiness and the good things and make music with his three best friends. All of you who hate that I came along, because I made him "happy" and now you can't relate- well, let me tell you this. There is nothing I could ever say or do to make him feel complete, happy or even attempt to fill to void. Nothing. I feel helpless, distraught and sad too. It hurts so much to watch hurt exist. It hurts to see someone so wonderful, sweet and full of love, feel so alone, betrayed and unimportant. So, if you see him on the street or in a random mall give him a big hug."

-keltie colleen

i read this on someone's blog, and even though I've read it before it still hit my heart. she said this in an interview by the way. i mean, whoever said long distance relationships can't work obviously haven't seen these two... right now i'm stuck in the most awkward conversation I've ever had in all my life involving my ex crush and his girlfriend. hate the fact that it still makes me feel like shit because well, his my EX crush and his in Australia, but... you know me. why don't i ever fall for the easier ones, i have no idea.

this was an impromptu blog post because i'm miserable + bored, i'm supposed to be sleeping because orientation is tomorrow instead i'm here. way to go iman. well i'll go drown my sorrows in Sims now. bye world.

Not Now, But Soon.

HAPPY NEW YEAR'S EVERYBODY.

originally, i wanted to post a quote to start my first post of '09, but i gave up on searching for them. before i start this corny post, my results were 6a's 2b's. i'm satisfied, definitely, but not happy... just glad it's not worse.

i'm not going to write a super long post, instead i'm just gonna steal mei yi's idea and make a long long list. (meiyi if your reading this, sorry for copying your idea. haha)

so this year i -

1) I got to watch my favourite band in the entire world, panic at the disco.
2) I attended the maa's.
3) I got to go to the States.
4) I registered myself into a gym
5) I realized that i can't have everything... no matter how much i try.
6) I studied... and actually put some effort into it.
7) I learnt that even though my family drives me insane with their arguments and how i've cried because of them countless times, i still love them.
8) I learnt that there are many ways of loving a person.
9) I realized that change is inevitable, and i've just got to freaking deal with it. Even if it's hard.
10) I stuck to ONE of last year's resolutions: reduce myself from swearing.
11) I was lonely. still am.
12) I added acting to a list of my future occupations after acting during drama class and realizing that it's fun...
13) I started writing fanfiction
14) I moved to a new house
15) I watched 2 cirque du soleil's in vegas... again... amazing.
16) I opened up to people less. (dont know whether this is good or bad)
17) I stayed single.
18) I decided that i dont care what people say about my dreams, someday i will achieve them. and i'm gonna work hard for it, no matter what it takes.
19) I stopped sleeping with the aircond on (most nights).
20) I became more eco friendly.
21) I confessed something to someone.
22) I was jealous of someone who's very close to me-- i still feel guilty about this cause she doesnt deserve it.
23) I started praying more. (im not joking)
24) I decided to let go; and even though i can't, not really, i'm still trying.
25) I drifted away from some of my friends
26) I learned that people come & go
27) I believed in karma. like, i did before but now i REALLY do believe in it.
28) I made stupid decisions. And also some very smart ones.
29) I lost a blackberry.
30) I felt useless and worthless for a short period of time.. of course i never told anyone.
31) I sat for PMR.
32) I got closer to certain people.
33) I tried.
34) I got an A for my Maths. First time in 3 years -.-
35) I enjoyed life.

I guess I matured just a little bit more. Gained more perspective on life, gained more knowledge... My year wasn't perfect, I mean, whose ever is? But I feel so thankful to have wonderful friends and family, enough food and money to survive. I mean, there were times where I would think it was the worst year ever but then imagine all the people who don't have all the basic necessities we have. What would it be to them? Just think of that.

Usually, I may not be the most grateful person, or the nicest one either. Hell, I glare and I roll my eyes and use this expression -.- on MSN more than anyone I know. But underneath all that, I'm still human. I've got a heart. I cry and I laugh and I love... I burp in public, I laugh like a retard and I eat like a chicken. But I'm still thankful for every single thing in my life. If you've done things you aren't proud of (i sure have), you should just look on the bright side and attempt to change.

Change, that brings me to my resolutions. No, I'm not going to 'try to be a better person.' That's just so cliche and it never works for me... my resolution is simple. I'm going to excel in something. I don't know what the 'something' is yet, but i'll do it. If I fail.. well, then I'll fail. But that doesn't mean I won't try.

So, that was my year. Another hectic roller coaster ride. I'll be blogging about my trip... soon since it'll be so bloody long with so MANY damn pictures. but I swear I will! I'm hungry now.

kiss kiss.