GEEZ MAN. KELTIE COLLEEN IS FREAKING AWESOME.
i SO do not hate her anymore. Respect weih. Seriously.
If I could dance like that.....
And no, I'm not jealous of her anymore. Haha.

Dear you,

It's been a year and a half and your still in that little corner of my head. I should never have re-read our conversations in my old laptop, conversations we had last year, because that only made hate myself even more. I know it's neither our faults that we're worlds apart, but somehow I put all the blame on me. It was you who was there for me through all my crappy times, you were the one who helped me pull it together when I was fighting with *insertnamehere* last year, I would never have survived last year if you hadn't been advicing me the whole way and recently, you were the one who helped me get over my jealousy. I guess I've done the same for you, what with all the girl problems and best friend problems and all, but the main thing is, you know me better than you should. You know me better than the healthy proportion that you're supposed to.

I miss all the long late night conversations, the way you make me laugh on webcam, the way you always manage to put a smile on my face. As I'm typing this it suddenly hit me that I sound insane, because I haven't even met you properly before. But you're real, you're real and even with all the stupid things you get yourself into, even though we don't talk anymore, even though you aren't the guy that's gonna sing me to sleep and play me love songs on acoustic, you're still my kind of perfect. That's saying alot because anyone who knows me would know that I won't settle for a guy who can't sing / play guitar. THAT's the kind of effect you have on me.

Sometimes, when I subconciously zone out, I wonder if you've forgotten about me. If you had forgotten about those words you said to me. Then again, you probably have. Or occasionally I wonder what could've been if you were here or I was there. I have those stupid impossible fantasies about us just being together, just experiencing perfect bliss. I still miss you, some days more than the others. It sucks because I fell for you as hard as I fell for... *fill in ze blanks*, and THAT... is really hard.

The worst is during those rainy days. I'll just look outside and a million and one feelings pierce through my heart. Trust me, it isn't a pretty feeling. It's those days that I just want to put my face in my hands and cry, it's those days when I feel like I need you most. It doesn't make things any better than I lost my only picture of you, which UNFORTUNATELY WAS STUCK IN MY SISTER'S NOW SPOILT COMPUTER

But I'm gonna tell you all this. After PMR, when I go there, I'm gonna tell you straight up about how I felt.

"Love you, girl at the other side of the world."
- You.

www.StopGlobalWarming.org

GO THERE NOW LOSERS.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELYAS IZZAT

You've been a great bestfriend, though you REALLY REALLY piss me off sometimes and irritate me just for kicks every minute, everyday. But you've always kept my secrets and listened to my problems, though I admit your pretty bad at helping me out of them (: Haha. Anyway, without you, I wouldn't laugh half as much as I do now. So thanks for always being there and I hope you had a great one.

PS: he hates pictures with his face in them :D

Because I Want Youuu.

ON AUGUST 4TH! minus the girl ofcourse. I'm like so freakinggg ecstaticccccc like SERIOUSLY. haha. ANTICIPATION. it's better than sex (;

Panic At The Discooooooooo. This is like the only thing that's gonna make my year.

Besides the Twilight movie ofcourse :D :D :D

I'm a bit on a high.... just drank Coke. I'm having a totally retarded conversation with my sister (Shane) and his threatening to disown me. I'm terrified-.- Really I am-.-

Since I'm bored I'll blog about my nonexistant life over the weekend. I went to my Tash's house, with all my other cousins and as usual she, I and my other cousin locked ourselves in her room and just gossip gossip gossip. That girl ahhhhh........ leaves out the most important facts *wink wink*

Before that, we stuffed ourselves. So much food it wasn't even funny. Like ohmygod. So much for losing weight.

Hrm. Trials are in two weeks and I haven't even started hitting the books. Gawd. I am so screwed it's not even funny. I can't wait till PMR is over. Hello Australia, US and the train of hot guys and SHOPPING!!!!

.. mindless bimbotic post.

STUPID STUPID STUPID.

i HAVE to stop dreaming about you. damn it.

and this el stupido geo project is seriously making..., meeee... CRAZY.
GRRRRR.

August August August!

too bad your perfect. *insert sarcastic laugh here*

ps dear classmates of mine who were with me when i was crying/bitching/ranting, whatever i said is confidential and if word gets out you guys better watch your asses. thanks you (:

Here's to everything I couldn't say
The insecurity that's breaking my bones today
I'm sorry you can't save me, I'm sorry I'm sorry I can't be your cure
Baby, my heart's sinking down to the corners of the floor

There's a sudden rush to the empty, silent room
I'm sinking deeper than Titanic and it's crew
The night silhouettes it's heavy stars.
And there's another spark in spite of the dark.

Isn't it funny the way I seem to always lose to my words
I know you probably think I'm crazy, and I know it's absurd
Cause you once said "She's the little girl with her hopes set too high"
And I said "He's the boy with the world on his side."

Is this what it's like to feel like your torn?
Your blood feels cold and the chilling air feels warm
And suddenly I don't know which one feels worse
The pain, or the fact that I'm treated like air

My top ten guys. Oh baby (;

Hayden Christensen

Jared Leto

Chace Crawford

Nick Simmons

Tom Sturridge

Gaspard Ulliel

Jackson Rathboneee

Robert Pattinson

Brendon Uriee

Ryan Ross!

Call me superficial. But every girl has one. And they aren't in order cause I can't decide who's hotter.

"It's just the body." I repeated.

"That's not true at all." He disagreed. "It's not the face, but the expressions on it. It's not the voice, but what you say. It's not how you look in that body, but the things you do with it. You are beautiful."

-Wanda and Ian
-----------------------
It felt sort of like a razor sliding between my ribs when he said that- too clean and precise to be compared to a blow or a break.

- Wanda.

Two really meaningful quotes from the Host. BTW, this is the first book that managed to get me THIS CLOSE into bursting into tears.

Cause love doesn't hurt so I know I'm not falling in love, I'm just falling to pieces.

I'm halfway through the Host and it is so frickin' awesome. Like seriously :O Dunno where Stephenie Meyer comes up with these crazy ideas.

My chatbox is full of pervs. Gawd. Trials are coming soon and I haven't even started studying. Gonna start next week since everyone's started already. Dayumm man. Rajin-ed people. Maybe I'm just lazy. -.-

I can't wait till PMR is over. Australia & USA heeeeeeeeeeeeeeere I come baybeh!

*yes i'm pretty aware that this is a mindless post. bear with me *

Bohemian Like You- The Dandy Warhols

Ookay so I've gotten all my mid-term results. Some were satisfying. Others were... BLEAGH.

History: 90% (A)
Bahasa Malaysia: 66% (C)
Mathematics: 57% (C) [my math sucks and idk what to do!]
English: 90% (A)
Science: 81% (A)
Geography: 75% (B)
Kemahiran Hidup: 83% (A)
Agama: I don't know yet.

I'm really unsatisfied with my Science and English, because even though I got an A, I had many careless mistakes and I def. could've done better. But oh well, what's done is done.

I'm really really worried for my Math and BM though. So horrible! Don't know what I'm gonna do about it. Trials are coming up and I feel EXTREMELY LAZY to study. I keep on procrastinating :(

Plus, I haven't even started my Geography proj. Planning to copy off my classmates. As usual >=). We had OUR FIRST band practice cause Paramount is next week. Needless to say, I'm freaking out. Btw, thanks Daniel for walking me up and down and up and down. Sorry if I pissed you off. (I highly doubt your reading this blog right now but ohwells)

Taaaa. (:

I wish I hate you.
I wish you would suddenly come to your freaking senses.
I wish things were like before.

I wish I had the perfect words to say to you.

I wish I didn't need you.

I wish I could tell you I was fine.

I wish I didn't overanalyze your words.

I wish I didn't fall so easily

I wish I knew how to love.

I wish I could tell you everything.
I wish I was there. With you.

Tesh, YOU KNOW WHO IM TALKING ABOUT :(

yes im still not over him. and every time i zone out i find myself fantasizing about him (no not in a dirty way). HELP ME LAH!!!

Sweetie, you have me. You've ALWAYS had me.

Hello all and sorry for not updating. My internet's been down for a week.

Okay, so as y'all know, it was Carmen's, Jasmine's and Jian Yong's birthday quite a while back. Won't bother elaborating anything because it's splattered over everybody else's blog.

Before that, I was at Terengganu, cause my dad was the consultant of SUKMA, which is some Malaysian sports thingy. I pretty much turned obese for the past 2 days there. Cause I ate like way A LOT.

So, somewhere around this week I went out with Dick, Daniel, Syu, Rong Tian, Jia Shern. Supposed to meet up with Elyas and Mei Yi but they were late. We watched Prom Night. It was pretty okay.

Then the guys ditched us for CC and we just berjalan-jalan and ate. Then Syu and I were gonna watch Iron Man so Daniel teman-ed us for awhile. A lady thought I was a Chinese and he was my boyf. I nearly died.

Iron Man was pretty darn awesome! I was like jakun-ing through the whole movie. Lol. Kinda pissed that they didn't kiss though :D

Over the weekend I managed to watch 21 and 10,000 B.C. Not to mention Prison Break S3 part 2 and Private Practice.

I know 10,000 BC isn't like a love story but ohmigod it is like so sweet la! I mean, he went all that way just to rescue heeerrr. Not surprising since she's darn gorgeous. Yes la I know I'm damn outdated.

21 was awesome too! TESH, your Jim Sturgess :D

Saturday evening I went to Sunway. Didn't go for Summer Splash but I heard it sucked anyways. Then later at night Ely was supposed to drop me off at my grandma's house but I lost my way and ended up going to his house. It's freaking humongous. I swear. Oh and, Aminah, sorry I canceled! Should've just gone out with you. But my whole family was arguing so yeah. soooorry.

And now, I am getting excited over the fact that MTV Asia Awards is going to be held in Genting this year and PANIC AT THE DISCO might be attending it. ASHJASFSFAKJLALSKJFJKLSFAAFSJLSFKABKJSAFHSAF. As most people know, I am, deeply truly, crazily and obsessively in love with them. Woosh.

Ugh. i can't stop snacking. I'm like soo fat now. And I really regret not going to Click Five cos I heard they were good, eventhough I'm not a HUGE fan of em.

PS does anyone know where The Host by Stephenie Meyer is being sold. Bangsar and OU don't sell it yet so yeah info pleease :)