I don't ever make up stuff about us that would be considered insanity. I don't ever drive by your house to see if you're in. I don't know your timetable, I don't know your face off by heart, but I must admit that there is a part 
that still thinks that...

we might get on (:

girlmushgirlmushgirlmushgirlmushhhhhhhhhh. 

I woke up this morning with a funny taste in my head. Speckled some butter over my whole grain bread.Something tastes different, maybe it's my tongue. Something tastes different, suddenly I'm not so young.I'm just a stranger, even to myself. A re-arranger of the proverbial bookshelf. Don't be a fool girl, tell him you love him. Don't be a fool girl, you're not above him.

You make me think that maybe I won't die alone..

Sigh. That song's been on replay in my head.

I am a stranger, even to myself.

(way old)

I've started school, and even though the hours are shorter than KDU (thank you, God) I'm still pretty much exhausted. Not used to waking up early again I suppose. Probably going to stay over Jasmine's house on Friday and I got invited for a birthday party this Saturday, and after I'm going out for din with Ely & all. Yayyy. I'm pretty excited for that. 

My school? It's far more laid back then KDU will ever be. We're allowed to like, wear makeup and jewellery and listen to iPods in class and stuff (: I kid you notttt. The people there are pretty friendly too, but I still feel quite lost. Hahah. You would not believe how quiet I am there, I'm not even joking.

The nights have been spent on Skype. You should be able to guess with who if you frequently read my blog. So, yeah, that's probably all that's happening right now. I'll update again after the sleepover/party/outing or when I feel like crap or something. 

---

i don't want to deny it anymore....

I'm a stranger, even to myself.

Die Alone- Ingrid Michaelson.

peek-a-boo people. I'm mind numbingly bored and I want to eat more potato chips even though I just ate it. meh. Currently skypeing with Elyas and Tesha, because we're all jobless freaks. School starting in less then a day, I'm freaking nervous okay even though it doesn't show much. Yeah. Went to Tashs house with Victor and Lihseng yesterday, I stayed the whole day cause it was Kays's bday party. What else? Oh right, I really want to watch the second season of Private Practice but I haven't bought it yet which sucks now that my house is far from the DVD shoppp. Oh, and I've started guitar lessons! Finally. After years of wanting to.

Alright, ta.

TODAY IS THE FIRST I'M RIGHT BLOG

HARLOX EVERYBODIES
I'M IMAN'S UNDERCOVER LUVVVV
TODAY WAS THE FIRST DAY I'M WRITTEN BLOG
SOO FUNN

WOOTWOOT
TODAY I PLAYING FOOTBALL , FEEL SICK..SO SUFFER .
ANYWAYZ....MY REAL NAME IS UNCO SAME ..BISH .....
I GOT THE MOUNTAIN SPRING WATER...WOWWW....IN A BOTTLE....NO GERMSS...NO NEED TO BOIL FIRST...WOWWW....
THATS NOT ALL FOLKS.....IM SUFFER..SO BB~~!!!!!!!!!!!
Muazxxxx~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Samson- Regina Spektor, Make you feel my love- Adele

School's officially starting on Monday. Not even joking this time. Pretty nervous :/

Haven't been able to sleep properly for the past three days. I can't seem to be able to GO to sleep and when I do, I wake up frequently and all, it's quite frustrating actually. Tomorrow I'll be going out with my retards- my last official day of freedom. 

--

I think I'm just scared that if I fall, I'll be crushed all over again.

Blackberry Stone- Laura Marling

Happy late Valentines Day! I'm not much of a Valentine's fan because watching couples hold hands and smooch around in a mall= not my kind of a day. And, no, I didn't get anything either (:

Instead, I went out with Alysha, Dickson, Elyas, Shafiq to Curve. We wanted to watch a movie but it was so full it's not even funny -.- Soo we just basically bummed around, ate, snapped peeektures. Then went for dinner with my family. Yesterday, spent practically my whole day skypeing with a bunch of retards (: I'll post an update when I start school (if I have time), which starts this week. I just don't know on what day yet. Bye loves.

"Sometimes, the last thing you want comes in first. Sometimes, the first thing you want never comes. And I know, the waiting is all you can do."

a mandaa says:
eh is nachos spanish?

cIMAN JACKSON R. says:
yes-.-

my retarded friend. today was a rather... hectic day. slept for three hours since my dad decided to inform us at the very last minute that we were sposed to go to mkis in the morning, so off we went to talk to the principle about what grade i'll be in cos i'd be one of the youngest in grade ten... so he let us go back to discuss it and my mom & i talked about it during lunch... so yeah i'll be in grade ten. then i followed my mom to bangsar to order new contacts and buy books. then i followed my driver to kdu and met jas (the #1 loser) who invited me over to her house so I HAD TO WAIT UNTIL BLOODY 6 O CLOCK FOR HER CHEER TO FINISH -.- hung out with the green hse ppl until tesh balik, then i watched redhouse, then blue house then jas came and we went back to her house to change. we + her mum went to the gym and I died there and came home. now ely is bugging me to watch unco sam and talking shit. ok bye and this is the lamest blog post ever but i'm far too tired to blog properly so DEAL WITH IT.

Valentine's Day is coming up. Looks like I'll be playing cupid for someone* this year, cause he asked me to bring him flowers for her. I, on the other hand, am Valentine-less because who on Earth would want a demanding bitch like me as a Valentine? So, I'll be going out with Elyas and Alysha on Saturday (whom are also valentine-less) because I can.

I've been doing nothing but sitting at home and coming online while everyone is taking their class tests 1. It's getting really old. Can't wait for school to start (i cant believe i just said that)

Last night I had one of the most vivid dreams I experienced in awhile. You know, the kind that wakes you up in a daze thinking the dream actually happened? I get like that sometimes... it's like I'm unable to separate the line between dreams and reality- especially when I'm sleep deprived.

I'll stop talking now. Bye lovers.

"You can be as mad as a mad dog at the way things went, you can curse the
fates, but when it comes to the end, you have to let go."

4:19 a.m: Heavily sleep deprived eyes, unwanted thoughts floating through the depths of my mind, the television casting muted sounds through my closed door. For the first time in my entire life, I'm actually scared of going to sleep.

---------------

I can fly, but I want his wings. I can shine even in the darkness, but I crave the light that he brings. Revel in the songs that he sings, my angel Gabriel. I can love but I need his heart. I am strong even on my own, but from him I never want to part. He's been there since the very start.
- Lamb

I remember the last conversation we had.

Before you even arrived, my heart had already started breaking. I tried to convince myself I was just being paranoid again. Then, you approached me with your hands tucked into the pocket of your ratty jeans, your disheveled hair blowing lightly in the October air, looking as beautiful as ever. The heartbreaking expression on your face told me everything I needed to know, yet, still, I hoped so bad that it wasn't going to happen.

Then all those words just started streaming out of your mouth, and I could do nothing but stare at you feeling completely helpless. I still remember the stoic, unreadable expression you wore on your face while you uttered that last goodbye.

I still haven’t recovered from the aftershock.

I hate you for that. I hate you for making me feel so intensely happy and… and scared and vulnerable and all those stupid emotions I wasn’t ready for. I guess they weren’t lying when they said the first cut hurts the deepest. Only, they don’t even know the half of it.

You were the best and worst thing that’s ever happened to my heart. I never thought I would ever use that sentence. So cliché, but you know it’s true. You knew me so much better than I knew myself. That’s what scares me the most. Knowing you could use all that information to break me, knowing that my secrets aren’t really mine anymore- they’re yours too, and I can’t take that back no matter how much I want to. You saw right through the façade I put up for the world to see, and I can’t take that back.

You damaged me. Damaged me beyond repair. You left me as this... an incomprehensible mess of words I'm not even sure are meaningful to you. But words are the only thing I have left.

I saw you with her that day, buying coffee at my favorite bakery. You didn't see me, since I was sitting way in the back. I couldn’t ignore the surge of pain that burst through my body when I saw you laugh that familiar, comforting laugh that echoes in my head each time I think of you. And all I could think about while I sat frozen at my spot was:

She made you happy.

That was something I could never do.

-I.

-----

This letter isn't meant for anyone. I was just bored and I was just reading this fanfiction that was all letters and I got inspired is all. Yeah, I'm into all these angsty stuff. You should know that by now. Comments please? (:

random.

just got back from the Puteri Gunung Ledang musical which i went to because my i had nothing better to do and it turned out to be pretty good. I liked it, even though it was in malay and I read the subtitles half the time. Yes, i'm such a loser. Shut it.

I'm staaaaaarvinggggggg. It's not even funny. Tomorrow is vocal classes and (maybe?) gym with Jasmine if she doesn't ditch me. Blog layout's back to basics just because I can. I'll probably make a new one pretty soon.

Yeah, k, byeee.

defending intentions if he fails

tash my super retarded cousin who gets like a gazillion bfs (leaving me with noone)

htf #1. i rotated it but my comp is stupid.

i swear, they couldn't stop laughing at this pic. FLYING ORANGE.

htf #2. specimen one: elyas boobs.

htf #3: imans oogly eyes.

as you can see, we never take proper pictures. well, last day at kdu today. might have a dinner thing at my house this weekeend, so keep posted. :)

My bestfriend Mei Yi :)

My other LOSER bestfriend Jasmine Chan.

Both pictures are from Ee Lin's party. I unfortunately did not bring my camera which meant I stole everything. So, tomorrow's my last day in KDU- I'm starting Mont Kiara in 2 weeks or so but I'm just so lazy to go to school. Which means I've been having a pretty unproductive week. Went to the clinic today to get a checkup to fill in the bloody school form or whatever.

I've been lifelessly watching episodes of Buffy The Vampire Slayer, I've loved it since way back when but I was too small to really APPRECIATE it. :)

Been writing like crazy, and I'm only adding this bit in cause I want to advertise my fanfiction. go to: www.fanfiction.net/~silverpixiedust and read them and comment them. just cause i'm jobless. ugh.

kinda excited to start school.... okay i kid, i'm a lot excited but i'm really scared that i won't be able to cope and being stupid is one of my worst fears EVER. yeah.

just blogging out of boredom and now i'm off to watch btvs again.

strange and beautiful- aqualung
gabriel- lamb
closer- kings of leon
= <3